My family was blessed with such a wonderful privilege. It started with small things. Leaving the water running when doing dishes or running a bath. Before you know it, he was gone. His body left behind but his mind and spirit trapped. Our family was left to care for his body and robbed us of being able to grieve such a tremendous loss. Funny thing is, when you are in it you don’t even realize it.
Dad didn’t know what he didn’t know.
Mother braved this storm; took care of him at home for as long as she could. Many sleepless nights. Many frustrations. Giving up privacy. It’s hard to allow strangers into your home to take care of your loved one.
Trusting strangers alone in your home while you get some much needed respite. One great decision mom made was to utilize the resources available and place dad in respite so she could get a much deserved break.
When you can no longer get proper sleep at night, patience running thin, it’s time to place your loved one in Long Term Care. Not an easy decision – not only on you financially, but also emotionally.
A weight is lifted off of you once you have placed them, but the care doesn’t end. If there is something Mom quickly realized it was that you have to learn to trust people with your loved one all over again.
Alzheimer’s robs you of your voice. Vulnerable. At the mercy of caregivers who only have so many hands and so many minutes. It was nice to know that the home had a back up plan for when they were short staffed. They would call upon Plan A to save the day.
Mom realized how many residents had no visitors and no loved ones to advocate on their behalf. She joined the family council with hopes of being that voice.
Mom visited daily, sometimes more, and planned visits around meal times, making sure Dad got fed. Little by little Dad stopped eating.
Slowly slipping away.
Now it was time to prepare Mom for what we all knew was coming.
All Mom wanted was for Dad to go peacefully and she wanted to be with him when he passed.
On April 17, 2018 she got her wish. His body left us, allowing us to finally grieve.
Now his memory lives on. We can now remember him when he was well. We can reminisce and share the funny and happy times.
Alzheimer’s is gone and Dad is never forgotten.